The Most Beautiful One
There used to be a girl in my school. She was much more known for her beauty than her brain. She had silky straight hair and it was just the colour of ginger, she used to let it free most of the time where as my hair was curly and hard like grass. She had a bright chubby cheeks and lips always stretch with exuberant glow.
Her mom let her shape her eyebrows while mine was undone. She used to wear pink dresses which suits her best but i never looked good with it.
She also smelled good always. I cannot tell the brand she used because i never used one. The most i remember using perfume is during the class picnic when one of my friends let me use hers but i never cared to observe the brand.
She had a petite and tall figure,an admirably rare possession a woman is blessed with,while mine was rather a squat body and never seem to reach about her height even when i put on my 3 inches heel. No,never seem to lose my weight even with regular diet and exercises.
Time flew and soon we both passed out of school. Since she lived just 2 blocks away, I decided to go befriend her. It took some courage to approach her and that was the time i did my most make up. It required enough guts to think of why you want to befriend someone especially because you are afraid if your reasons would be seen too vague for consideration. In my case,it was much weaker. I simply want to get closer because there was something in her that i wish i had.
Well, I did compared myself with her, not knowing that in reality we have our own charming personality. I often wished I were like her. Too many times i had cursed my own self because i was not looked upon with the eyes they looked at her. Nobody said i looked beautiful.
Dechen, the most beautiful girl in the school is now only confined in the periphery of my vague memory. But what i come to know was that she was not the most beautiful girl anyways. It was sad to know that she came from a broken family whose parents had long divorced. Because of that,so often her life was vernurable under the dominion of chronic sadness and depression. But it was the beauty in her personality that she always managed to smile, look preety and became the idol of my admiration. maxi evening gowns
She had been faking all the time that she was fine and just happy with her life, infact there was much in me that she didnot posessed, i guess parents are one gem. Since then I realised that her expression is incomplete. Perhaps she wished she had a intact family like mine, she wished she had a caring dad instead of a drunkard step-father. Perhaps she too wished to talk to me much earlier but felt the reasons to approach was weak, just like what i felt.
I came to know that she wasn't the most beautiful girl. But she continued to be my idol; that when i am sad, i manage to smile. When i am filled with tension and worries,i still manage to stay firm, when people talk about fate,i consider myself as a lucky one.
Years has passed since then, still nobody said i looked beautiful. But i think I am happy now. I think i have enough reasons to be happy as well, I still look for people around me, with that same squat body,the same curly hair, and no perfumes still. I am all the same except that now instead of comparing, i look forword to thanking God for all my unique personality.
Well, i think beauty has stretchable meaning. Even if you don't have a beautiful figure, even if nobody said you are beautiful,even if people don't look at you the way you wish them to, you still got some reasons to keep smiling,keep standing firm and keep moving on with more positive vibes. Perhaps you are more luckier than those happy face around you.
Life is beautiful, yeah. But Even more beautiful when you love yourself.
Photo courtesy Camille lesaulnier, via facebook